February 05, 2018 lil teryan 0 Comments

All of us have crossed paths with a toxic person at some point in our lives. The colleague who seemingly likes you, but has it in for you, the friend who’s always trying to lure you in their drama, or the family member who drains your energy every time you speak to them.

These people suck the joy out of work, play mind games and do nothing to enrich your life and career. This is why it’s very important to protect yourself from toxic people. But, what’s the best way to spot them and neutralize them?

Luckily, there are a number of signs to spot these individuals, and afterward, prepare strategies to deal with them or minimise your contact with them.

The 7 easy-to-spot signs of a toxic person

1. They’re selfish

These people are so wrapped up themselves, that they’re rarely concerned for others. They would gladly spend their whole time talking about themselves, without being even slightly interested in your feelings. They only care about their feelings and needs and will manipulate you to see they’re met without thinking twice.

If they’re a friend, they could expect you to change your plans for them, or criticize your personality, looks or mothering skills. If they’re someone from work, they may demand that you work late or give you an urgent task just before you have to leave or prevent your promotion.

2. They need to be right

Toxic people can’t stand the thought they might be wrong. It doesn’t matter if the problem is big or small, they’ll impose their point of view until you give up in the end. This need to be right surpasses common sense, truth, and normal social relations, as they would gladly lie and fabricate everything. They would even take their fight to the legal system, suing neighbors over inches of land, and incurring huge costs.

3. They Lie

Everybody has told a white lie or two in their lives. However, if you find out someone is deliberately withholding, twisting information and misleading you, or downright lying to you, then you should be careful by all means! If they’re capable of telling small lies, you won’t be able to trust anything they say.

As mentioned before, a toxic person won’t hesitate to twist and reinvent the truth in order to pursue what they want.

4. They’re too eager

Each relationship needs time to build, and an emotionally healthy person would recognize you need space. So, if you meet a person who seems to hurry to get to know you or establish a business relationship with you, or pressures and smothers you, run as fast as you can in the opposite direction.

Being unable to anticipate or appreciate the needs and feelings of others is a big warning sign of a selfish person or even a narcissist.

5. They’re always the victim

Some people always need to play the victim and blame others for their problems. For instance, they couldn’t meet their deadline because their manager didn’t remind them of it. They missed an early morning meeting because their spouse forgot to set the alarm. Or they didn’t book a doctor’s appointment because someone didn’t give them the number.

It’s true that bad things that can’t be avoided happen to all of us sometimes. However, some individuals are constantly blaming everyone else for their problems, when they should take personal responsibility for them.

6. They don’t say anything nice about others

There’s a thin line between harmless gossip and bitching, and a toxic person is happy to cross it as they never have a nice word to say about anyone. So, if you ever cross paths with someone who seems happy to run other people down, be careful. Don’t allow them to turn you against others, because there’s a big chance they’re saying just as nasty things about you behind your back.

7. They’re evasive

A toxic person is never straightforward. They find joy in destabilizing others, tilting and twisting the truth until nobody is sure what’s going on. They’re like really skillful political creatures who know exactly how to manipulate anything to their advantage or eliminate anyone who stands in their way. If you ever meet anyone who can’t seem to give you a straight answer, changing the subject each time or sabotages every meeting, there’s a chance they’re toxic.

How to Neutralize Them

If there’s a toxic person in your life, you shouldn’t stoop down to their level. Instead, learn how to protect yourself with these tips:

1. Stick to your boundaries

Don’t let a toxic person cross your boundaries for their own sake. Work out what’s important to you and stick to it.

2. Keep a record of any decision

If you discuss anything with a toxic person or come to a verbal agreement, always send an email confirmation and invite correction if anything is wrong. This will help prevent lying later on.

3. Be polite and honest

Just because someone else is deceitful, that doesn’t mean you should be too. Always act appropriately and let others see the toxic people for what they are.

4. Don’t share secrets with them

Be careful what you share with a toxic person, as they may repeat it in a negative way. Never gossip about others or share a secret with them.

5. Don’t be a shoulder to cry on

If you spend hours listening to a toxic person complaining about everything that has gone wrong, you’ll simply feel depressed too! No matter what you say, you won’t be able to cheer up a toxic person since they enjoy being a victim. You better save your energy for those who really deserve it.

6. Be Firm

Remember to stand your ground when dealing with this kind of people. If you don’t give them what they want, they’ll surely try some emotionally manipulating tactics. So be prepared to be firm.

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