9 Things You Need to Know Before Dating a Woman Fluent in Sarcasm

February 04, 2018 lil teryan 0 Comments

Everyone knows for a FACT that sarcastic women are so unfunny it hurts. Or do they? Is this sarcasm? We won’t ever know. Maybe that is what makes it so unpredictably challenging; how we hang in the perilous balance of sarcasm and factuality at every moments edge with these provoking women.

Often people are approached with the remark that they are bluntly sarcastic. To this they bluntly remark that the other person is just intolerant to stupidity. But does it end there? Cue drum rolls. The sad answer is a rhetoric no. Sarcastic people are at the best of times surrounded by a large group of appreciative (read: supportive) friends who appreciate quick thinking off the feet even if it comes off as prudishly rude every now and then.

When the sarcastically gifted run across the oddly often person who can’t comprehend the bespoke genius of sarcasm, one can often end up with a comedic farce worthy of conversation starters. For example, this one sarcastic person met this guy on an online dating site who asked how many children she had. Well, all we can say is, saying “six” sounded funnier in her head that it did in his.

But it gets better (doesn’t it always?). At the date the guy asked if she drinks and she replied with “I thought i said I had six children”. With a reply that resembled a forlorn, yet confused puppy, the guy simply fumbled at how mismatched they were. We get it, nobody can possibly comprehend the outright ingenuity held by a sarcastic person who can bend and use opposite answers and rhetoric at will, let alone appreciate their will to move on in the face of this ‘not getting it’ resistance.

But then again, seldom do you find someone who holds the staff of humor high and mighty, harder still when you consider dating them. But the question remains; can YOU bear them?

Well let’s find out. Here are 9 shockingly exciting pointers every guy must know before he undertakes the journey that is dating a woman fluent in the tongue of sarcasm.

9. The best defense is offence.. Sarcasm!

It is cruel to spell it out but sarcastic people are not cold and heartless (for the most part!). Infact it is quite on the contrary. They are often too guarded to spell out the fact that insecurity runs in their blood. To let people know that they have actual soft cores would be the ultimate defeat! For any sarcastic person anywhere, admitting to having the emotions of sensitivity, empathy and care are complete undoing and begets their invincibility.

Open up to them and tell them of an emotional incident and be bemused as they make a witty and spontaneous response to avoid the soft emotional core they have to open up and spill out all the gooey emotions they have (hint: lava chocolate cake people!!!).

8. Bad at taking compliments

So this one sarcastic girl dates a guy and he asks about why she rolls her eyes and passes sarcastic comments every time he compliments her to which she (quite obviously rolls her eyes and exaggeratingly talks about her photoshoot the day after. Needless to say they never dated again.

Point of the matter is that sarcastic people find it easier to play off compliments rather than taking them seriously as that takes a lesser toll on their insecurity. They simply do not know how to react to appreciation. Period.

7. We LOVE being told we’re funny (but already know, duh)

There is only one type of credited complement in our books and that is appreciation to our wit. We have hoards of people who believe so as well and would literally not mind (literally) if you join in our ranks. Just prove your worthiness by exclaiming how funny we are and you’re in. And while humility in a man may be hot, nothing really says marry me now like telling us that you get us. Take a bow gents, if you this is you. If not. Well time to swipe right on Tinder again, folks!

6. Fight fire with fire.. Sarcasm!

Take up arms and help support our cause. Sarcasm is a dish best served back and forth and you are by best no exception. So be real spontaneous and think on your feet in every conversation as feistiness is the soup of the day in our books. It is terribly pathetic when a man moves into a fetal-armadillo position and cries over how rude we are when all we really need is a gun to match our recoil. Grab your nearest slingshot and fire that sarcasm right back at us for maximum marks, gents.

5. It’s never meant to hurt (mostly)

It is a widely believed communal dogma that sarcastic people are mean to the core (bad to the bone anyone?) and simply put, it isn’t so at all. Well for the most part, we are just being plain ole funny. Even if that becomes barely believable at times. What processes as sarcasm in our mind and is intended wholeheartedly to come off as funny can often be perceived by male mental filters as downright obsessively stuck up and rude.

But in reality we simply have an intrinsic adoration for irony that is unwavered and self-centric sarcasm that is directed wholly towards ourselves. And for the rare person who does get rude sarcasm shades, just please don’t be so silly. Really now.

4. We have an IQ of over 7 million

Not being a smart aleck or anything but be prepared to get schooled anyways. So basically, there are a plethora of studies done on people and they time and again find that people who are sarcastic don’t only exhibit signs of higher mental health, but also boast a higher IQ and EQ. All while being more adept at picking up the various and volatile social trends we co-exist with.

3. Good joke-Bad timing

We ready to say too early every time sarcasm slips off our tongue as we simply can’t help it and when it does happen, it just happens. Words just endlessly pour out and while sarcasm may seem a bad idea at the time, it seems like the best coping mechanism to us at the moment.

2. Sarcasm is our way of accepting people

People often tend to get offended when faced with the sarcastic end of the stick whereas what we intend is usually quite further from that augmented truth. But much like prepubescent boys, we only shower boys we like with our undeniably ultimate wit and humor. You’re worth the time and attention in other words, so suck up to it and take it like a man.

1. Sarcasm helps us deal with stupid people

Sarcasm is our go-to defense mechanism when it comes to dealing with difficult people, mainly because throat punching is still frowned upon in the court of law. (for how long tho?!) Sarcasm is what stops us from beating annoying people up, left right and center and thus, keeps us out of jail.

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