10 Relationship Facts I Wish I Knew Sooner

February 02, 2018 lil teryan 0 Comments


We all have a few experiences after which we realize what we did right and what all we did wrong. If you understand them before hand, you have saved yourself from a lot of heart ache. But in a normal circumstance, one has to go through a lot before learning some simple facts and habits.

We all have impressions and stories fed to us by the movies about relationships should be and how they work. We sometimes forget that we live in reality and movies are fiction. But relationships are not easy, they require a lot of hard work. One has to go the length to make someone feel valued and loved.

There has been extensive research done on relationships and what all one should do and not do for it to be successful. And most research says that if you are best friends, its most likely to work. The concept of romanticizes relationships, insane passion and high levels of attraction don’t always last for a very long time. And all these initial phases come easy, what is hard is the phase that comes after all the emotions. When things get stable and monotony starts to kick in.

Here are some facts that you should keep in mind about relationships:

1. If you have less mistakes on your palate, you are playing safe.

By making mistakes we do not mean things like cheating and breaking a person’s trust. But playing safe means that you are not letting yourself go, you run away from conflict and you step back from things that you make you feel anything except happy. If you do not take responsibility for the things that you do, there is no way that you will learn from them.

If you think you are always right, that way your mind will not even process the things that you need to learn. Without mistakes there is no process that stimulates growth. And without growth you can’t have a deeper level of connection or learning.

2. Anything that has value will not happen in less time.

A lot of people are of the opinion that relationships are something that come to us by nature. The adrenaline, the intensity, the tingling sensation – you can’t plan these things. To be with one person, it takes a lot. You have to settle for a lot of things and give up on a few things in your life.

Our instincts do not support the claim that it is natural to do something like this. We need to embrace things that comes to us, we need to have an open mind and an open heart. One needs to be patient and see things through because letting go of habits and forming new ones takes a lot of hard work.

3. Learn to work hard

You will get things only if you work hard for it. Nothing falls in your plate without you working for it. This is a principle that people should ingrain in their heads. You can’t reap the benefits of anything if you didn’t sow anything to begin with. Relationships are not like lottery.

There are some people who only put effort in the starting phase. And later on they lay back and expect things will run smoothly. Although that is not the case, as relationships are run by consistency and by being determined.

A lot of people take things for granted very easily and don’t realize how much time it takes to invest and run a relationship. Everyone perceives hard work in a different manner. For some it is a lot of work and some people who see love from a different point of view know that these things need to be done on a daily basis. They come naturally to them and that way it seems like less work.

4. Ask and look for opportunities

After a certain time, we think we know our lover really well. When we start to think like this, we subconsciously start to get laid back.

We stop asking them questions and we keep assuming things about them. But the problem here is that people do not stay stagnant, there is always some sort of growth taking place.

So one should remember to never keep communicating with their partner. And look for opportunities to talk and find out more about their partner.

5. Don’t ever leave things mid-way

When we say don’t leave things in the middle, this means that you should not leave an argument mid-way. Things need to be resolved instead of letting them hang, till they pile up and blow in your face.

When someone is angry, they are not in a position to talk or listen. There is just a heated argument where no one understands anything.

So after giving it a break come back to discussing it with a calm mind and move towards progressive solutions. be careful with these things because if you keep leaving them hanging for a long time, they will bite you in you’re a*&.

6. Being a yes man!

If you are never putting your foot down and always saying yes – that is not a very good idea. The good thing in this is that it might lead you to jump out of your comfort zone.

But don’t back down from that because it will make you grow. We all know nothing grows in your comfort zone, if you want more yes in your life – work towards it.

7. Being busy with life is a decision.

Being I love does not mean that you are not allowed to have a life. Your life should not revolve around one person that you cling to.

One should have a life together and then a life outside the relationship – that way there is always growth and independence.

So at the end of the day it’s a choice that you make. Where you want to give more time is at your discretion.

8. Don’t shut your dreams down before you even properly dream them

Just because you decided to be in a relationship and align your life with it does not mean that you forget about the dreams that you had before entering this person’s life.

Many people let go of things that they always wanted to do because that would affect the relationship. But what people don’t get it is that you blame the relationship at the end of the day then.

9. If you want to live a good life, you need to decide that you want it before.

You cannot pour out of an empty jug, and when you make sacrifices for your relationship – you live yourself bitter on those expenses.

A lot of things can happen even if you are in a relationship, but all you have to do is make up your mind about what you want in life.

10. Failure is when you see it as one.

One should take a stand for their relationships, always. Not inside a relationship but for it – there is a difference. You as an individual, then your partner and after that comes your relationship.

If you just take everything as a failure, you will never get back up. Just because you agree to your mistakes does not mean that you have failed or lost.

So being the bigger person at the end of the day makes you win, not lose.

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